I was always the single girl right from middle school until high school. I got a ‘boyfriend’ during A-level but it was a long distance relationship. I use quotation marks around the word boyfriend because looking back it wasn’t real… but anyway that’s beside the point. I was single for a very long time. That made me feel inadequate and out of place. I was convinced that I was the problem; I constantly felt that something about me was amiss. Needless to say my being single was always at the back of my mind.
I found my confidence plummeting to levels that even shocked me. I somehow managed to gauge everything with my being single. ‘I didn’t get that job because I’m single or I don’t have as many friends because I’m single…yep the list goes on and on and on.’
Fast forward several years and I’m in a happy relationship with a great man whom I thank God for every day.
We’re heading towards two and a half years. It’s been a really great ride so far with many highs and lows and I’m looking forward to a lot more. I guess since our 2 &1/2 year anniversary is coming up pretty soon I’ve been thinking about my single years….. There are so many things I wish I knew beforehand. So allow me to share so that you don’t find yourself looking back at your single years with sorrow and regret.
This may sound harsh but it’s the truth. Your happiness is your responsibility, not your boyfriend’s or friend’s but yours. So if you’re unhappy when you’re single; chances are you’ll still be unhappy when you find love. Find your own happiness; discover what happiness is in your own terms and strive for it every day.
Discover your interests!
This is the best time to discover your likes and dislikes. Discover yourself. Discover activities and hobbies and create your own routine. This way you’ll become a well-rounded person. You will be so preoccupied with your activities that being single will be the last thing on your mind. This is the best time to engage in such things because once you find someone chances are you’ll spend a considerable amount with each other. You’ll find that having time to yourself will become limited. So change your attitude and enjoy being single.
Don’t compare yourself!!!
Do not; I repeat DO NOT compare yourself with your friends who are in relationships. Yours will come in its own time. Don’t let anyone tell you different. Don’t fall into peer pressure, don’t be in a relationship because it’s the ‘in’ thing. Coming from someone who waited for a long time; you’re better off waiting for the real deal than ‘kissing a bunch of frogs…’
You’re not the problem!!!
Being single is not a problem. It’s a state of being that we all go through at one point or another either once or severally. You are not the problem.
I hope you find this helpful. I wish someone had told me this when I was single…
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