I’m not where I’m Supposed to Be…

Here I go asking the most cliche question….have you ever felt like you’re not where you’re supposed to be? I think the short answer for most people is yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes and yes! If you fall under the no category then hats off to you. Lately, this has been the running theme in my mind. I’m one of the few that struggle along with their new year resolutions until the end of the year and I review them at the beginning of every month. Admittedly in September I still had very high hopes that I could successfully accomplish 70% of my goals and by October boy oh boy did that notion crumble to pieces…. Now being the very goal oriented individual that I am it took some adjusting, some REAL adjusting because ladies and gentlemen the year is about to come to an end very shortly and that 70% of that list is very far from being accomplished.

So am I where I’m supposed to be? NO, 100% NO; however it’s a NO according to MY new year’s resolutions, MY life plan and MY wants and MY desires. I’m not where I’m supposed to be according to things that I set out for myself. I don’t know why but it suddenly hit me that I was my own cause of stress because I decided that I had to have achieve certain goals in my walk with God, my career, love life, wellness journey, family, finances etc… I did that! I did that to myself.  I took myself out for a date had a meeting with myself and decided, this is where you are supposed to be by 2017. How absurd is that? I had this meeting in Dec 2016 completely unaware of the various events, circumstances, changing environments and other factors that would come in 2017. I did not factor in anything except for where I thought I was supposed to be by the end of this year.

Maybe to many of you this is something that you have already discovered and maybe that is why you let go of new year resolutions or goal setting. The penny just dropped very recently for me. How warped was my mindset? my approach to every day living? What a completely contrary and bizarre way of life to my faith and beliefs as a Christian? I guess I’m having what Oprah used to refer to as an AHA moment. Well Jesus take the wheel and this time I will not take control again unless you ask me to. I still think goal setting is a great tool for achieving things and I definitely don’t believe in hiding behind my faith. What I’m saying is that I’m through with micro managing myself. I know whose I am and according to Jeremiah  29: 11 God has plans for me, good ones that will give me a future and a hope. And according to Proverbs 3: 4-5 Christians are called to: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do and he will show you which path to take.” It’s not easy not knowing what is next and where I’ll be in the next 5 or 10 years but I’m done stressing myself out. So if the penny hasn’t dropped yet, if you are yet to experience your own personal AHA moment I sincerely urge you to stop! STOP stressing yourself out! Let’s actively live out Proverbs 3: 5 – 6 because life is a precious gift….I know…another cliche but it’s a very true one and it is not until you loose a loved one or when a loved one gets gravely injured or ill that you actually begin to truly appreciate the mundane every day things. 

Does life make sense at the present? No it doesn’t not one bit. Does this revelation feel comfortable? Not in the slightest. Is this new revelation hard to live by? YES! But I will press on until Jesus comes for me or He calls me home!

 

Photos Credit: Google Images

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1 Comment

  • Ruth says:

    How so true dear.The reason that i cry and down most times is because of what I envisioned for myself.A marriage by 30,lovely children,employment etc.None of it is what God instructed or said but ‘ I’.His ways and ours are very different for sure.Most times His ways never make sense to us.Why would Joseph a faithful servant of God suffer and wait for His dream to be fulfilled for 13 years while the heathens seemed to triumph?But at the right time i have come to learn just like Joseph all is made so perfectly right and then it will make sense why it had to be that route and not yours.The only thing that comforts me in this hour of suffering is the fact that God is GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD. Like i don’t get Him but i trust His faithfulness and goodness.The only thing that come out of our situations is only good because that is God for you.I may not trust myself but i trust the One i am with.

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